Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Hard time trusting people in relationships - Love and Dating


Ria1989
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Blammo
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 9:35 pm?? ?Post subject: Reply with quote

Finding those qualities is difficult. But when you find them it will be worth the effort.

I would continue being "picky" and find someone YOU want. Trust is difficult to build, but in a relationship there has to be an inherent level of trust. Without trust, there is almost no relationship.
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Ria1989
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ValentineWiggin
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 12:48 am?? ?Post subject: Reply with quote

"I refuse to settle for something less than great.
And if it takes a lifetime, then that's how long I'll wait.
'Cause all I want is everything, is that too much to ask?
Have romance, love and passion; find magic that will last.

And I want someone to think they'll die if they can't be with me.
I want to be their joy, their pride, their dreams, The very air they breathe.
I want to wake up feelin' loved and go to bed the same.
Yes, I want to be somebody's everything."

Dolly Parton- Somebody's Everything
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civrev
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Ria1989
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 10:37 am?? ?Post subject: Reply with quote

ValentineWiggin wrote:
"I refuse to settle for something less than great.
And if it takes a lifetime, then that's how long I'll wait.
'Cause all I want is everything, is that too much to ask?
Have romance, love and passion; find magic that will last.

And I want someone to think they'll die if they can't be with me.
I want to be their joy, their pride, their dreams, The very air they breathe.
I want to wake up feelin' loved and go to bed the same.
Yes, I want to be somebody's everything."

Dolly Parton- Somebody's Everything

great song Smile
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How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours- Wayne Dyer

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Ria1989
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 10:41 am?? ?Post subject: Reply with quote

civrev wrote:
If you have trust issues from previous relationships, you might want to deal with them before you jump into any more relationships, because it's really not fair to a guy to have to overcome these extra obstacles that aren't his fault.

With that being said, it's important to be picky. You NEED to be picky. It's what's going to save you a lot of pain and suffering in the long run. I also wouldn't discount attraction. It may seem superficial at first but it's fairly important to sustain a relationship with someone in the long term. Would you want to be with someone you're not attracted to for the rest of your life, or even in a long term relationship?

I agree wholeheartedly that I need to overcome trust issues from my past. I did warn the last guy of them, and told him flat out that I did not trust him and I did not know when I would. Despite telling him that, he still asked me to be his girlfriend, which was surprising. Unfortunately, it was not me that really needed to be worried about sustaining the relationship, even though I did end it, but he made it known that no girl will be as good as his first love and to be prettier, etc. would be hard to come by. That line itself is what ended our relationship even if he would never cheat on me, abuse me, etc. Though he was nice in many ways, his words stung, which would pierce anyone who wouldn't have trust issues.
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heatherbk
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 6:47 pm?? ?Post subject: Reply with quote

Ria1989 wrote:
civrev wrote:
If you have trust issues from previous relationships, you might want to deal with them before you jump into any more relationships, because it's really not fair to a guy to have to overcome these extra obstacles that aren't his fault.

With that being said, it's important to be picky. You NEED to be picky. It's what's going to save you a lot of pain and suffering in the long run. I also wouldn't discount attraction. It may seem superficial at first but it's fairly important to sustain a relationship with someone in the long term. Would you want to be with someone you're not attracted to for the rest of your life, or even in a long term relationship?

I agree wholeheartedly that I need to overcome trust issues from my past. I did warn the last guy of them, and told him flat out that I did not trust him and I did not know when I would. Despite telling him that, he still asked me to be his girlfriend, which was surprising. Unfortunately, it was not me that really needed to be worried about sustaining the relationship, even though I did end it, but he made it known that no girl will be as good as his first love and to be prettier, etc. would be hard to come by. That line itself is what ended our relationship even if he would never cheat on me, abuse me, etc. Though he was nice in many ways, his words stung, which would pierce anyone who wouldn't have trust issues.

Ouch. I dont think any girl would want to be with someone who would say such a thing. Hearing those words would worsen trust issue problems o_o

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Ria1989
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Posts: 319


PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 7:03 pm?? ?Post subject: Reply with quote

heatherbk wrote:
Ria1989 wrote:
civrev wrote:
If you have trust issues from previous relationships, you might want to deal with them before you jump into any more relationships, because it's really not fair to a guy to have to overcome these extra obstacles that aren't his fault.

With that being said, it's important to be picky. You NEED to be picky. It's what's going to save you a lot of pain and suffering in the long run. I also wouldn't discount attraction. It may seem superficial at first but it's fairly important to sustain a relationship with someone in the long term. Would you want to be with someone you're not attracted to for the rest of your life, or even in a long term relationship?

I agree wholeheartedly that I need to overcome trust issues from my past. I did warn the last guy of them, and told him flat out that I did not trust him and I did not know when I would. Despite telling him that, he still asked me to be his girlfriend, which was surprising. Unfortunately, it was not me that really needed to be worried about sustaining the relationship, even though I did end it, but he made it known that no girl will be as good as his first love and to be prettier, etc. would be hard to come by. That line itself is what ended our relationship even if he would never cheat on me, abuse me, etc. Though he was nice in many ways, his words stung, which would pierce anyone who wouldn't have trust issues.

Ouch. I dont think any girl would want to be with someone who would say such a thing. Hearing those words would worsen trust issue problems o_o

Hmmm, yep. I'm glad YOU are on the same page as me as he clearly didn't get it. He got it when I dumped him, though.
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